CaringBridge Site!

It's amazing that in one year, Brandon and I have come so far in our journey to parenthood. I cringe thinking about this time last year when we were only a couple of months into Clomid, facing heartbreak after heartbreak each month. Now, a year later, we are so very very grateful to be in a much happier place in our lives and looking forward to becoming parents through adoption. Although last year was a much darker time in my life, I know that it was the journey that ultimately led me to where I am today.

When we first began exploring adoption through FANA, Marcia - the adoption coordinator, sent us a packet of information. The cover letter included the names of couples whom had recently returned from Colombia. These couples all had blogs or CaringBridge sites that detailed their adoption journey, their trip to Colombia and very precious insights about becoming parents for the first (second and third) time. At that time it seemed impossibly far away to think about creating our very own CaringBridge website. There was so much paperwork to complete, so many approvals to get and so many appointments to attend. We took Marcia's early advice however, and tried to rejoice at each small step we made in this journey. Learning to live for each day after living for tomorrow during infertility was a hard lesson to re-learn. Personally, I also had to re-learn how to have hope after so much heartbreak. Perhaps that was the worst thing about infertility to me - not that we were unable to conceive a biological child - but that our hope was robbed for so long. Now, however, I feel like a giddy child pretty much everyday - so thankful that we have the opportunity to become parents to a precious baby. I also feel hopeful everyday - which is an amazing feeling. With each approval and each small step completed, my hope grew a little bit more. So, now that the paperwork portion (well most of it : ) is complete, the appointments have been attended and the approvals received, we have created our very own CaringBridge site. Please take a look at it:
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/babysullivan
The CaringBridge site was created for a much wider audience compared to this blog, which really details some of my most intimate feelings about our journey. I will still continue to update my blog throughout our journey - which is far from complete. It's so exciting to think that one day, another couple just beginning their adoptive journey will follow our blog, entranced as we were, with every word, every picture and every feeling about becoming a parent.

A Feeling of Connection

It's to be expected that we would feel connected to our fellow FANA families. Some of them have been with us since the start - guiding and supporting us through each step of our adoption process. What amazes me is the special connection that we share with the adoption community as a whole. For example, last night I registered at Baby on Grand. It was an amazing experience as I learned how different devices worked and truly was able to imagine our little baby in the stroller we chose, the carseat, eating on the cute little dishes and sitting in the carseat. While I was there, another "non-traditional" family came in. They were from Israel, tried to unsuccessfully adopt from Guatemala, tried surrogacy 5 times in India before successfully finding a surrogate mother here, in Minnesota. They are the proud parents of newborn twins - after 5 long years of waiting. Their eyes welled up as they listened to our adoption story. They know what it's like to wait, anticipate and often ache for parenthood. As we hugged our goodbyes, knowing that we would never see each other again (they are soon returning to Israel with their boys), they looked into my eyes and told me that they wished me the best of luck and that they would be praying for us. It's such an overwhelming and deeply emotional feeling to know the sincerity of families such as the ones I met last night.

Have I mentioned how EXCITED we are??!!

The Summer of George

So I just watched that Seinfeld and thought it would be a funny title. I love Seinfeld. It is the show that brings Brandon and I together. We typically have very different tastes in TV shows - Brandon could literally watch hours of Macum's auto show (yes, that's right a show where they auction off cars) and I prefer TruBlood. But on these shows we agree: Arrested Development, Seinfeld and News Radio. That was a random tangent...

July and August were very busy and fun months. The week of July 17th we attended our very first large-scale FANA gala. The week consisted of a waiting families dinner (Thursday), a golf tournament, dinner and auction (Friday) a pic-nic (Saturday) and a special FANA mass (Sunday). We were able to meet the founder of FANA, Mercedes, her husband Arturo and heard their daughter, Elena speak on Friday evening. They are a truly amazing family. We also witnessed our first "in-person" referral at the dinner and auction on Friday evening. A couple received news that they were parents to twin boys - very exciting! Overall, the weekend was exciting and emotional.

On August 1st, my brother married his long-time girlfriend, Teegan. It was a beautiful outdoor wedding. Both Brandon and I were honored to be members of the wedding party as we witnessed my day chocking up as he performed the wedding ceremony. It feels like just yesterday that John-Ben and I were playing Ninja Turtles together - and now he is a married man. Where does the time go?

Things have continued to progress well on the adoption front. We will soon be setting up a CaringBridge site that will be more publicized than my blog, which has been more for those of you closest to me. I'll post a link as soon as we have it set up.

Buddy Couple!

We just received word this morning that we have been assigned a buddy couple! Their names are Helene and Paul and we are so very grateful that they requested to be our buddy couple! We feel very honored that they will be our mentors through the rest of our journey to parenthood. The role of the buddy couple is really one of support through the waiting process, to give us the excellent and amazing news that we are parents (!!!!!!) and to provide us with guidance as we travel to, and are in, Colombia. I can think of no better news on a Tuesday!

Future Nursery

Brandon bought our house in 1999 as a duplex. Until a couple of months ago, we have always used it as a duplex. We lived in the larger, 2-bedroom downstairs portion of the duplex and rented out the upstairs. It was a nice income stream and we didn't need the space. Now, with our growing family (I love saying that), we are reconverting the house back into a single family home. It's a lot of work but has given us something to do while we are waiting. Here are some pictures of the future nursery! Stayed tuned for pictures of the re-painted and furnished nursery (be patient, it may be a while)!

Update

So I have not been all that great at staying on top of my blog. It seems that when summer finally arrives, that my already too-crazy life just gets all that much crazier. This summer my brother John-Ben is getting married and I am fairly heavily involved in FANA's annual golf and dinner fundraiser that takes place in July. To top things off, we are in the midst of a huge construction project at our house - reconverting our duplex back into a single family home... So to say the least, things are a little crazy right now!
Adoption update - our dossier is in Colombia! Yay! It went with another couple - Ben and Deana who were united with their baby boy Carlos a couple of weeks ago. It is very exciting to have the dossier in FANA's hands and no longer in our own. A lot of couples have indicated that this is/was the hardest part of the process for them - when all the paperwork is done and the "real" waiting begins. I feel the exact opposite. I am thrilled to not be keeping tabs on the progress of various documents in various states and to no longer be making appointments with doctors (both the medical and the head type), adoption counselors, and the Secretary of State. This new kind of waiting feels more secure to me. I have finally allowed myself to relax and start registering for baby things and envisioning a beautiful nursery. I am very, very excited most days. My waiting moms group is an amazing and consistent support group. I have grown quite close to a couple of the waiting moms and love getting together with them on a weekly basis for dinner and the occasional glass of wine. We talk excitedly about adoption, recent referrals, what to do while we are waiting, ect. We "ooohhhhh" and "ahhhhh" over each other nurseries (or plans for nurseries) and share feelings about everything adoption. They are amazing women who I am so grateful to have in my life.
The most frequent question we get about the adoption is "What's the next step?" Well, we now wait for formal approval from FANA (although apparently this sometimes happens after the referral, so it's a little confusing), we get a buddy couple (another lifeline while waiting) and wait for that precious referral. We hope to be parents before the end of next year, but nothing is certain. Right now we just take things day-by-day and try to enjoy living in the moment. We are taking a Spanish class to hopefully help us get by while we are in Colombia and are looking at places to stay both in Bogota (the capital and city in which FANA is located) and on the coast. It's so exciting!

Random Tuesday Thoughts

I stole this idea from my friend Elizabeth's blog and thought it was pretty cute.

When my parents first told me that we were moving to Minnesota, I could not believe they would have such horrific taste. My dad was considering churches in Florida and California, yet they chose Minnesota. My first winter here was hard - it was the coldest and snowiest place I'd ever lived...but then summer came along and it was the most beautiful summer I had ever experienced. Every summer I am reminded why I love living here.

********************************************************

It's graduation season! I am very proud that this year my brother graduated from Minneapolis Community and Technical College and will be going to the University of Minnesota this Fall. This time every year I marvel at how quickly the years have gone by... I used to be the one lifting him up and carrying him around. Now he towers over me and easily picks me up when we hug.

*********************************************************

Every once in a while I am reminded of why I work with lawyers all day long and put up with their endless demands, unrealistic deadlines, short fuses and often over-inflated egos (sorry Jen and Tori - but sometimes it's true : ) At the end of the day, they are just people - scared of the power they have over people's lives and are just looking for a little reassurance.

*********************************************************
Every weekend should be 3 days... I feel so much more rejuvenated after 3 days of rest rather than just 2.

*********************************************************

I am amazed that my husband can work in the yard all weekend and love it. While he worked, I read 2 books and watched a couple of very long movies. Am I a lazy wife? If so, should I feel guilty about it? Why am I feeling guilty of not feeling guilty?

*********************************************************

We have a lava rock planter from Reunion Island where I lived with my family as a child and teenager. It's a shallow planter, but no matter what we - and by we I mean Brandon - plant flourishes in it every year. It's weird.

**********************************************************

I love country music but will never understand or relate to Gretchen Wilson's song "Redneck Woman." Probably a good thing.

***********************************************************

Twilight (the series AND the movie) is one of the best things that has every happened to me. That's right - I'm not afraid to admit that I am completely and utterly obsessed with the book series originally created for teenage girls and now a worldwide sensation. I watch the movie once a week and am starting to read the 4-book series for the 3rd time. It's cruel and unusual that the 2nd movie does not come out until November. Needless to say, I will be premiering it and actually might be wearing some sort of logoed T-Shirt, despite my usual disdain for any T-Shirt, especially those with logos.

**********************************************************

Until last week I had never even been a part of a jury trial. Now I have 2 in one month. It's far from the fun...