Friday, September 5, 2008

Day 5 of Clomid, Month 3

I’m really happy that today is my last day of taking Clomid for month 3. Ovulation kits and naked bathroom to kitchen dashes here I come!

Last weekend was Labor Day weekend and I had a great weekend spending time with my husband and some friends. During a 6-mile walk last Sunday (that’s right - 6 MILES) with Brandon and our dog, Sally, we stumbled upon a children’s wading pool (complete with fountains and those water geyser thingies). There were probably 30 children squealing and running around, having an absolutely wonderful time on a hot, summer day. As I sat there and watched all of these beautiful babies and kids run around, I had what Oprah calls an “Aha! Moment.” Although we have had a tough year in some respects, with the whole not-being-able-to-get-pregnant thing, I am so fortunate in every other area of my life: I have the most caring, loving, attractive and giving husband; I have two very supportive and loving families; I have several groups of friends who have listened, hugged, fed and gone out with me each and every time I have needed it; I have a job in which I am challenged and fulfilled, with amazing co-workers and I have a beautiful home of which I am proud of and I enjoy spending time in. It struck me that these are things that other people want just as much as I want a baby. I have been so caught up in the wanting that I barely spend any time being grateful for the many other people and things that make up my happy life. This month, and hopefully every month going forward, I am going to make a conscientious effort to be happy with what I have now and not focus so much on the one thing that I don’t have and want.

To help with this effort, I made a list of the things I am able to do (and love) that I wouldn’t be able to do, or it would be much more difficult to do, pregnant and/or with a baby. They are in no order of particular significance:

1. Listen to music really, really loud in my car;
2. Drive faster than I should;
3. Talk on the phone while driving;
4. Text while driving;
5. Go on a 6 mile walk on a hot day with nothing more than a bottle of water;
6. Shop whenever or wherever I want;
7. Lay on the couch and watch hours of mind-numbing TV;
9. Eat cookies for dinner;
10. Eat cookies for breakfast;
11. Eat cookies for lunch;
12. Go dancing;
13. Sleep uninterrupted for 12+ hours;
14. Get into work as early as I want;
15. Stay at work as late as I want;
16. Hang out, in total peace and quiet, with my husband and our dog;
17. Travel;
18. Have a neat and clean home, with nothing out of place, 24/7;
19. Clean every other week (at the most);
20. Attend dinner parties with other childless couples to discuss politics, work, the arts and other grown-up conversation topics.

Hopefully if Angry Anna comes out to play anytime soon, I can re-read this blog entry and refocus my negative energies. I’m counting on the power of positive thinking!

1 comment:

Heather said...

Are there really parties like that?! Where grown ups wear something other than sweatsuits and talk about politics and art, not tuition and soccer and play dates?? How can I find these parties?? Will you bring me??