I’m really happy that today is my last day of taking Clomid for month 3. Ovulation kits and naked bathroom to kitchen dashes here I come!
Last weekend was Labor Day weekend and I had a great weekend spending time with my husband and some friends. During a 6-mile walk last Sunday (that’s right - 6 MILES) with Brandon and our dog, Sally, we stumbled upon a children’s wading pool (complete with fountains and those water geyser thingies). There were probably 30 children squealing and running around, having an absolutely wonderful time on a hot, summer day. As I sat there and watched all of these beautiful babies and kids run around, I had what Oprah calls an “Aha! Moment.” Although we have had a tough year in some respects, with the whole not-being-able-to-get-pregnant thing, I am so fortunate in every other area of my life: I have the most caring, loving, attractive and giving husband; I have two very supportive and loving families; I have several groups of friends who have listened, hugged, fed and gone out with me each and every time I have needed it; I have a job in which I am challenged and fulfilled, with amazing co-workers and I have a beautiful home of which I am proud of and I enjoy spending time in. It struck me that these are things that other people want just as much as I want a baby. I have been so caught up in the wanting that I barely spend any time being grateful for the many other people and things that make up my happy life. This month, and hopefully every month going forward, I am going to make a conscientious effort to be happy with what I have now and not focus so much on the one thing that I don’t have and want.
To help with this effort, I made a list of the things I am able to do (and love) that I wouldn’t be able to do, or it would be much more difficult to do, pregnant and/or with a baby. They are in no order of particular significance:
1. Listen to music really, really loud in my car;
2. Drive faster than I should;
3. Talk on the phone while driving;
4. Text while driving;
5. Go on a 6 mile walk on a hot day with nothing more than a bottle of water;
6. Shop whenever or wherever I want;
7. Lay on the couch and watch hours of mind-numbing TV;
8. HAPPY HOUR;
9. Eat cookies for dinner;
10. Eat cookies for breakfast;
11. Eat cookies for lunch;
12. Go dancing;
13. Sleep uninterrupted for 12+ hours;
14. Get into work as early as I want;
15. Stay at work as late as I want;
16. Hang out, in total peace and quiet, with my husband and our dog;
18. Have a neat and clean home, with nothing out of place, 24/7;
19. Clean every other week (at the most);
20. Attend dinner parties with other childless couples to discuss politics, work, the arts and other grown-up conversation topics.
Hopefully if Angry Anna comes out to play anytime soon, I can re-read this blog entry and refocus my negative energies. I’m counting on the power of positive thinking!